I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
