i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
