So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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