Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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