he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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