just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
