If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
