Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
