Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
