She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
