Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
