We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
