there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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