so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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