I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
