Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
