So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
