So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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