Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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