We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
