yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize