guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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