He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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