HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
