Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
