but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
