is this the sara with the beer cane?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
