Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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