Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
