btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
