She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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