My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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