and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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