He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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