turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
