I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize