Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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