you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
