Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well you can't waste a boner
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
