If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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