i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your cock deserves a montage
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize