I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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