I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
