I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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