I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
