Screwed.edu
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
