I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
