we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
