Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
