return my video game
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize