i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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