i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
