i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
