I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
as a side note pls kill me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
