worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
