how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
