i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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