Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
