It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
