I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
