just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
