im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
