im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The adults are the big ones right?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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